Break ups can be one of the most painful times of our lives. The reason it is so painful is because it almost feels like you’re dying and you know what; a piece of you is in fact dying. Think about it. During a break up you have to let go of a person you have grown very close to. Being with that person has changed you (whether you want to admit it or not) and when that person is gone you are also saying goodbye to that person you were when you were together. However that can be a great thing.
As much as we like to play the blame game after a break up or we try to dissect every thing that went wrong, truth is a bad match is sometimes just a bad match. You weren’t for me and I wasn’t for you and sometimes that sucks. Not only does it feel like we wasted our precious time but we now morn the person we were. It can be a very complex thing. Many times (not purposefully) you say good-bye to mutual friends, activities you used to do together, even minor things like eating habits change. You are saying goodbye to what was so familiar and thought you wanted. These things all made up a large portion of your life and getting rid of that huge part can be scary and honestly pretty damn sad.
Now comes the good part. Saying good-bye to that part of you leaves space for a new and improved you. A you that needs to try new things that feel fulfilling. You will suddenly find yourself reading more… working out more.. eating differently.. making new friends and most importantly making new experiences. You can now become who you always wanted to be without the toxicity of that bad (or just plain wrong) relationship. You now have room for you.. all the different parts of you.. a new and improved you… a no longer weighed down by a bad relatinship you.
And then it all falls into place. Whether that falling into place means the life you always wanted with a partner perfect for you, or a career you thought existed only in your dreams, watch it all come together. Moments of temporary sadness often can bring about the happiest of times and you will laugh at how sad you were. Sometimes I look back on break ups and really can’t imagine myself being that sad over a break up again… the blessings that came afterward were just so great that I almost forgot all the sadness it took to get here. Easy for me to say, I know. I have been in such a fulfilling relationship with my bf (and myself) for a long time now so those bad times seem so far away and distant. But I do know, that a break up is like a caterpillar in a cocoon… and once you give it some time the butterfly will fly out of the cocoon, more beautiful and vibrant than ever.